Indecision on the Path

There are many things in life that distract us and keep us from fulfilling our true potential, reaching our ultimate goals. As I slowly stroll down my path today, I am as indecisive as ever, and I think of how this indecision holds me back and distracts me from what could be. This is a problem I have faced over and over again on this long and winding path, making a decision, choosing a new fork in the road, forging a new path. How can we ever be sure that  a decision we make is the right one, how can we know that when we drive forward and venture into new territory that we are not missing out on the way we really should have gone?

The truth is we can never really be sure, and that we must have faith in ourselves, and whatever higher power we choose to believe or not believe in to lead us in the right direction. I suppose my lack of faith is part of my problem.  I see so many possibilities ahead of me, there are so many ways to move forward, and all seem like they will lead to great places, but how do I know which one is the best?  The thing that really holds me back is a common cause of paralysis, and that is fear. Fear of missing out, fear of getting lost, and the ever present all encompassing fear of the unknown.  I know I must make a decision, because even now I may be passing up the detour, or the hidden trail, that could lead to the best adventure of all.

I stop and sit on grass under a tall oak tree to think.  My knees drawn up and my head in my hands, I feel I am already lost. I know there are others near and I could follow them, but I have never been one to follow in the footsteps of others, I like to make my own path. I think back on the suggestions and possible new paths that have been pointed out to me by some of the navigators* in my life, and I considered the places I imagined these paths leading to. Of course I cannot know for sure where they will lead me, but I would be going somewhere. I wish that I could take multiple paths, but I know dreaming of the impossible is just another distraction.  I need to concentrate and decide, make a decision, before it is too late.

My biggest fear of all, is letting the fear and other distractions get the better of me and aimlessly wandering this path until the journey ends. To make the wrong decision is better than making no decision at all and squandering all the time I have to explore this beautiful place and leave my mark, would be the biggest mistake of all! I suppose any path I choose, I will wonder what could have been on the others that I chose not to create, but that is the way of the world. I cannot be all knowing and if I were it would only remove the fun from journey.  I stand and return to the beaten path, but I know I must soon forge my own way, make my move, my life altering decision because to have made my own path, whether it was the best possible or not, is still better than wandering eternally on the well beaten path, and ending my journey without ever knowing any of the possibilities that could have been.

*Navigators are people in your life, often those you care for, that make suggestions to you of the possibilities that may lie ahead on your path.